Retronyms for The Television

With the impending meld of TV and internet into one dynamic device,

traditional television needs an official retronym.



Brick-and-Mortar Television

Cobweb TV

Conventional Television

Couch Box

Cro-magnon Television

Disconnected TV

Dumb TV

Full-Size Television

Inactive TV

Landline TV

Manual Television

Passivevision

Primordial TV

Rotary Television

Snailevision

Stare-o-vision

3D TV

Actual Infomercials

(according to TV Guide's DVR listings)




Ahh Bra
Best Pillow Ever!
Best Steam Mop Ever!
Brainetics
Brazil Butt Lift
Debt Cures
Eat Yourself Skinny!
Flawless Brown Skin
Free Money
Get Ripped in 90 Days
Hair Loss
Hair Restoration Breakthroughs
Holiday Fat Buster!
How to Paint Like a Pro!
Insanity Workout
Jillian Michaels Body!
Joint Pain?
Juice and Lose!
Mom is 57, Looks 27!
Ninja Kitchen System
Orthotics Ease Your Foot Pain
Pro Ninja Blender!
Quit Your Job!
Redi, Set, Go!
Say Goodbye to Fat
Sexy in Minutes
Snoring Cured!
Tummy Tuck
Who Knew
WORX GT Perfect Yard

America Balls

The Best Sandwich in America debuted on Wednesday on The Travel Channel, and didn't make the top 100 list. OWN's Are You Normal, America? debuted on Sunday.

On July 24, you can plop American Gypsies from National Geographic Channel AND American Originals from The Travel Channel onto the tray of America Balls.

American Lost Treasures (July 4)
Good Afternoon America (July 9)
American Gypsies (July 24)
American Originals (July 24)
Fish America (July 29)
The American Broadcasting Company (ABC)
Destination America (channel)
USA Network
American Idol
America's Got Talent
Good Morning America
America This Morning
American Ninja Warriors
American Horror Story
American Dad!
America's Next Top Model
America's Funniest Home Videos
America's Most Wanted
Ugly Americans
American Pickers
The American Experience
United States of Tara
American Restoration
American Weed
United Stats of America
Iron Chef America
The Miss America Pageant
Miss USA
Football Night in America
Baseball Night in America
Only in America with Larry the Cable Guy
America's Money Class with Suze Orman
State of the Union with Candy Crowley
John King, USA
America Court with Judge Ross
America Now
American Digger
American Icon
American Stuffers
Made in America
My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding
America's Supernanny
Invention USA
Truck Stop USA
American Underworld
American Chopper
All-American Muslim


source: futon critic

A Letter From An Angry, Disenfranchised TV Viewer

I have never been more shocked at the blatant disregard for those outside of the commercial-watching class, it completely blows me away. I never believed that watching a TV show meant so little to networks nowadays unless the viewer also watches the commercials.

This is very troubling and I wonder if the people who zap the commercials know that they are being discriminated against -- do advertisers really believe that those who don't watch their ads won't try anything new or don't buy anything -- or is it really the Nielsen system that is outdated, not tracking correctly who is watching what. It really is a shame that high quality television programs will be canceled just because people change the channel during commercial breaks.

Getting rid of '30 Rock' because some of us don't watch the commercials is pathetic. We are people too! The writing is outstanding, the plots hilarious, and the characters unforgettable. It is shameful that '30 Rock' is heading into its final season. It may not appeal to commercial viewers, but it is the commercial skippers who have all the money these days. (We spend 1/3 less time sitting on the couch watching commercials.) To cancel a show that has such wit and intelligence is deplorable. Most television shows either question our integrity or are just plain stupid. Reality shows really aren't reality and the rest are too sleazy. So, so sorry to hear the series is ending.

-- ANGRY TV VIEWER

Fall Schedule Prediction

SheenWatch2011(TM)

SheenWatch2011(TM): The TV Ratings' Extensive Charlie Sheen Coverage

✪ March 7: Sheen Fired for "Moral Turpitude"

✪ March 1: IT'S ALLWAYS SUNNY IN SHEENSVILLE USA, CAMPER

✪ February 26: Charlie Sheen bumps Detroit 1-8-7 on March 1.

✪ February 24: 2½ Men done for this season

✪ February 16: 2½ Men goes back into production Feb. 28 for 4 more episodes, for a total of 20

✪ February 1: CBS orders two more episodes of Rules of Engagement, likely to order more episodes of other sitcoms to cover 2½ Men hiatus

✪ January 28: 2½ Men put on hiatus, but not to retool it in the hopes of making it funny

Year-to-Year Changes, 2010-to-2011

A Simple Guide

click to enlarge

CBS Goes After the 18-49 Demo

Meet the stars of CBS's new Fall shows!

William Shatner (79)
Tom Selleck (65)
Swoosie Kurtz (65)
Jean Smart (58)
Jim Belushi (56)
Donnie Walberg (40)
Jerry O'Connell (36)
Alex O'Loughlin (33) in Hawaii Five-0 (42)